Unsettling thoughts #1

Sometimes certain facts and theories about fictions and fandoms strike me weirdly. This is one of the thoughts I've had recently:
       It has been theorized by some in the pokemon fandom that all the creatures in the pokemon world are in fact just different strains of Pokemon. This includes human beings. My question is this? If humans are pokemon, what prevents other people from beating the crap out of them and capturing them in pokeballs. This would take stalking in a whole, new, terrifying direction. Imagine if you could literally imprison and carry your crush with you every where you go, if you could keep them in a state of suspended animation, alive and in your power, but not accessible forever. Imagine if someone with a crush did that to you!

              I know that this has probably, hopefully, been disproven or debunked by now. I also know I'm kind of bent for even thinking about it, but then again when you think of things like Lavender Town, Cubone, and Yamask, it's probably not all that farfetched. (( See what I did there?)) So, it's time for you, my dear readers, to weigh in. What do you think of this idea? Do you find it frightening? Is it possible or impossible considering other bits of the pokelore? I look forward to your comments.

-Cameron Carrington

Thoughts on Manhood

I expect to lose some "friends" after this, but I've been so damn miffed and hurt about it that I can't keep silent anymore. There are days when I wake up and hate the fact that I am a man. Not because I feel oppressed, not because I don't acknowledge that because of my mental gender and physical sex I have privileges that people who don't share these qualities do not.  I am well aware that in the lottery of life through the sheerest chance the irresponsible idiot that fertilized my egg gave me the chromosome that basically puts me ahead of the game in this society. No, I sometimes hate being a man for another reason entirely.  I am ashamed by the stupid shit my gender/sex says and does.

           If you think the friendzone exists, you need to unfriend me. If you think that you are entitled to sex and or a relationship because you spend money on or time with a woman, you need to unfriend me. I can't say that I never embraced these concepts, but I can say that I've grown the hell up and taken a look at things and discarded these childish and frankly dangerous notions. These delusional ideas and the depersonalization and hatred they espouse and inspire cost the men who hold to them respect, time, and the very relationships they aspire to. These delusional ideas kill.

           If you in any way believe the UCSB shooter was right and or justified in what he did you need to unfriend me. You need to sit down and contemplate what it is to have innocent blood on your hands because you felt entitled to an individual's person, life and body. You need to stop and wonder why your brain is so out of whack that you equate women with fleshlights. You need to get the fuck away from me before you go around the bend in the same way. You need to get away from me before you decide to injure and kill other people and possibly even yourself for a pseudo philosophy of paranoia that makes even a mentally ill person like myself shudder. You need help of a type I am unqualified to give.

            Don't dare come at me with this "It's not all men." garbage either. Shit like this makes it all men. Creepers in malls make it all men, rapists and rape apologists make it all men. Men who feel entitled to and whine about women not being subservient or attracted to them make it all men. Why? It's simple, because it could be any man. The man walking down the street with his hands in his pockets could be looking for a victim. The man sitting on a bus could be coveting a woman who's name he may not even know like she was a car, or a thousand dollar bill and wondering why he shouldn't just take her. A woman cannot actually know what any man at any time is thinking. Every time something like the above happens, any time some idiot loses control of himself and does something disgusting and sub-human it makes it a lot less safe for any woman to be near any man. She cannot be sure that all men aren't predators, what she can be sure of is that if something does happen to her it is more than likely that everyone from her own family to the media will be looking for reasons that it is her fault. Despite the fact that this senseless thing happened was done to her, for no discernible reason, she knows that everyone is going to try to pin the blame on her. So don't give me this "Not all men " bullshit, because it might as well be.

        We do it to ourselves. This society, built by and for men, pushes these roles upon us. It tells us that it's okay to be out of control animals, that men should aspire to be as such. Action movie heroes, sports players, musicians, even our own schools and government tell us that the ideal man is one of violent action and sexual debauchery. They tell us that it is women who must give up their comfort and individuality because men are all barely controlled lust engines and the sight of the slightest bit of alluring skin might topple our reason and force us to do horrible things to them. This male run society devalues men, just not as much as it devalues women.

        I know everything isn't peaches and cream simply because a person has twigs and berries. Men are a lot less likely to gain custody of children for instance and male rape and molestation by females is a reality of which I myself am a survivor. We fuck those things up for ourselves as well though. This male built society favors women in custody battles not because they assume women are the ideal parents, but because we are taught that women can and should be the caretakers, that a man does not and should not want to shoulder the responsibility of parenthood. Men who report rape or molestation by women are laughed at or have their manhood questioned because how could a man not want to have sex? Once the uglies start to bump this male built society tells us our minds and souls should shut up and let our body enjoy it. Men hurt themselves because they have built a society around the idea that women are less than them.  We do it to ourselves, like little kids blaming the stove but refusing to take their hands off the burner.

      So yes, some days I hate being a man. I hate being associated with all of this garbage. I can't escape it however, because I am a man and all of us are responsible for our actions, no matter how much we wish we weren't.

Random Thoughts and things I want that will probably never happen.

I want a new, non-hentai Valis game. I'm talking the real deal, animated cut scenes, a plot copy and pasted out of Leda: The Fantastic Adventures of Yohko. A girl, a pleated mini-skirt, some improbable armor and a sword. Monsters would die, Bishounen evil generals would dramatically kick the bucket and the magic of dreams would save the day. I want it so badly I can taste it. Heck, you could even throw in the occasional panty-flash for the fanservice crowd. I can't decide if I'd like it to be a 2d platformer or a an experience like Lollipop Chainsaw or Bayonetta, but if it had the above criteria and was decently playable I would sell vital bodily fluids to get my grubby little paws on it either way. It would be even better if the character could be customized, still cute and anime-ish, but with different facial features, eyes, body-types and general costumes available. Heck, the costume pieces could be found in game to enhance replay value.

        Perhaps it is foolish to dream however. It seems, sadly, that the era of video-gaming that would produce such a game is long gone. Everything now a days stars generic buzz cut soldiers of either the terrestrial or extra terrestrial subtype. Strong female characters either draw the wrath of the gaming community or are made into submissive jokes. They even managed to spay Samus Aran, the original badass bitch of gaming, making her into nothing but a panting doe-eyed lustbucket who bases whether or not she can do something on the say so of her crush/"infinitely wiser" commanding officer. Fuck that. Do not want.

      I want strong female characters in games. I want women who would and do rescue their boyfriends instead of vice versa. It doesn't mean she has to be a slab of muscle, it doesn't mean she still can't be sexy and stylish while doing it, it does mean that she kicks ass and makes no bones about it. I want a female hero. I want her to be written as a woman, not as a man in panty-hose. Is that so much to ask?

      Yes, she'll be sexualized. That's inevitable. I don't particularly care about that. I'm sad that it would have to happen on one hand, on the other hand however I am a great fan of Hentai, so I don't really have room to talk. There will be rule 34, and a great deal of it, because the current society cannot stand to have a female character that hasn't been brought to heel in some way shape or form. I just want the hero, the character, and the kick-ass game that would host her and I'm sure fans of the Valis series and other games such as the Guardian Legend would agree with me.

     Sadly I am not a game programmer and can't currently afford to higher someone to do so for me. I don't think my ideas and initial sketches would catch anyone's eye on kickstarter. So for now my dream will remain a dream. Maybe one day the gaming community will grow up and I'll get something along the lines of what I want. In the meanwhile I can always dream...

                                    Thank-you for taking the time to read this and listen to my thoughts. Comments are welcome below. Have a good day gentle readers.
-Cameron Carrington

Paranoia and Ego

The odd thing about being paranoid is the way it clashes with my trademark low self-esteem.  In order to be paranoid you have to believe that people consider you worth the time to hate. In my head I know this is not true. No one is paying attention to me. They have their own lives and concerns to focus on. Emotionally though... I feel it. I see it. I hear it. Every glance, every whisper,every laugh. I see them all, feel them all, and instinctively I decode their meanings. "Filthy", "Fat","Pervert". "How is he here around children? " " How does he live like that?" " Why doesn't he unburden us all of his presence and do what should be done to all sick, unwanted animals. It would be a mercy to nboth himself and the world."
    Intellectually I know people aren't thinking this. I know they really aren't even concerned with me. Emotionally my cheeks burn, my eyes dry out and my scalp creeps and itches and buzzes. Emotionally my throat closes up and my lungs reject air as stomach acid roils up to tease at my esophagus with pitchforks. All I want to do is hide and maybe just not be for a while. It's weird hating myself like this, and yet still having this huge ego. It is what I must conquer however to really live again.

Regular Features of my Facebook Page

I'm a creative guy sometimes, and I like to occasionally clown around and play games that don't require me to stare my fellow humans in the face. Thus I have created some posts and games that occasionally appear in my Face book. Here is a guide to these entertaining(?) and unusual posts.

                                                                   GAMES
The Prize for "winning": The standard prize for winning/guessing correctly on any of these games is a free "like" on the page of your choice!

Hard Mode: Each game will have a "Hard Mode" that adds a bit more "Challenge" to the game. If you guess the answer on hard mode I'll "like" two pages of your choice!

Pardon My French: Those of you whom I have subjected to my rather shaky grasp of french ( and my over-reliance on Google Translate) know that I have a penchant for peppering my speech with non-sequiturs that have a certain jen ne sais quoi. Phrases that emphasize my meaning and frankly make me sound intellectual like a house bound homme chauve-souris. In my newest game the challenge is to figure out just what the heck I'm saying. I'll post a phrase in french and it is up to you to make your best guess at a translation. Some of them may even be in proper french! Hard mode: No online translators. Also watch out for the Latin and German flavors!

Guess the Quote: I'll usually correctly(?) attribute any quotes I put on my page to their proper sources. When I fail to do so this is your chance to guess who said it, and if it's from a fictional source where they said it at. Hard mode: Cannot use an internet search engine.

Lyrically challenged: The same as above, but with song lyrics.

                                                            FEATURED POSTS
Bad Joke of the day: A joke, usually based around some weird pun I just thought up. I post one and only one on the day I think of 'em.

The Adventures of Rosie Cotton in Middle Earth: Episode titles for a fan-fiction idea I had about Samwise Gamgee's  long-suffering fiance Rosie Cotton who gets a yen for travel after Samwise reappears after his year-long jaunt with his best friend. Along the way she meets major players from the Lord of the Rings and hangs out with them. Attending a dinner party with Aragorn and Arwen expounding on feminism with Eowyn, perving over Legolas and the like. Since this is both fan-fiction and utter non-sense she even meets with the deceased villains of the piece, Sauron and Saruman.

Go here, do that!: Looking for fun and interesting stuff to do on the net? Well, stoppit! I'll do it for you! When something like a youtube video, flash game, or article strikes me as particularly edifying I'll pass it on to you, my loving facebook friends!

That's pretty much it for now, but as time goes on I'll add more and retire others. If you have any suggestions feel free to pop me a comment or PM!
-Cameron

Leadership.

A rant, copied and pasted from Face book after reading this article: http://pol.moveon.org/waronwomen/

Ladies and gentlemen, these are the people who we elect as our LEADERS! They want to rob from widows and orphans and line their own pockets. It's STUPID. I don't care about how you feel about a free market place. I don't care how you feel about guns. I don't care how you feel about god. I do care when people like my mother, who raised me essentially on her own, and other hard working women are seen as being less important than FARM ANIMALS! 

      As for the Christians in the audience riddle me this. Isn't self determination and free will a part of the Christian faith? Doesn't forcing your rules on to others invalidate those rules? People must be allowed to make their own physical and spiritual choices. Where would you be in your mythos if god had killed David before he could bed Bathsheba or Destroyed Judas before he could betray Christ? No where! Choices must be made and people must be free to make those choices if your faith is to be validated. I am not saying that I consider anything a sin, mind you, that isn't for me to judge, but if you're so confident people are doing wrong, let them make that choices and let your god sort them out. Or are you afraid that, unlike yourselves, he might show a little mercy? 


   The republican attacks against Women, the LGBT movement, and the poor in this country are nothing more than sheer voyeurism. They only wish to watch people suffer while they revel in their control over the masses. They are not faithful servants of any god, they are not qualified to be our leaders. They are voyeurs who need human misery to make them feel alive. The thing is that we, the American people, choose these "leaders" and it's time to stop making such bad decisions. We need to start being a strong people and shake off these abusive fools instead of a co-dependent country that keeps saying, "They only abuse us because they love us...really..." Wake up USA.

About Borrowing Heroes.

I come from an odd place in this. I am, I would hope, a very accepting person. I try to allow an individual's character to determine my attitude toward them rather than their looks or their race. Sometimes I fail in this regard, but I do try. I also follow a creed where each culture should be considered on their own merits, and the mores and traditions of that culture not looked down upon simply because the person taking the culture in comes from another culture. I am a lover of myths and legends and a believer in the power of great stories and characters to have a transformative effect on a person's life or perceptions. Today however, I am feeling a bit bigoted. I am unreasonably annoyed at something, something I'd normally just let pass or slide off my back, but with the stresses of moving and the fact that my children have already managed to put crayon on the walls of my new apartment when we haven't been there a full week yet has made this particular molehill into a mountain of huffiness. Not anger, mind you, just mean-spirited grouchy annoyance.

Those of you who are sensitive, unwilling to read what is more than likely a rationalization for something psychologically and socially wrong with me that I need to have adjusted, or looking for outright racism, should probably jump off here. Everyone else, welcome to my confession. Flames go in the comment boxes below.

I'm miffed at Dora the Explorer for making Merlin Spanish. Yes, Merlin the Magician, Myrddin Wyllt or Myrddin Emrys to some. Adviser to King Arthur and generally, outside of Odin/Wotan the prototypical Old Man Wizard figure. A WELSH wizard figure. My last name, Myers, is Welsh in Origin, and speaks of an Infusion of Welsh blood into my Cherokee ancestors at some point. The entire Arthurian cycle, something that I have always been fascinated by, has its roots in Wales. Merlin, for all his popularity is a Welsh figure, and as someone who believes that the stories of other cultures should be preserved and appreciated for being a part of the culture from whence they came it made me a little upset to see him suddenly transformed into a Spanish figure.

I have nothing against Spanish or Latino people. They have a rich culture and a deep and interesting history. I do not look at them and sneer or feel as if I am better than them. There is no hatred here. I am not upset at the show for making Merlin specifically Spanish. I am upset at them for changing his race at all. I am upset at them for saying, "All these wonderful stories, all of these tales from which this unique character sprung, which are a product of a unique and rich culture. They're garbage. We need a wizard character and we're going to take this one and because the focus of the show is teaching children Spanish he is going to be Spanish as well."

Now, imagine for a moment, that there is a show that focuses on teaching kids say, German, or Japanese. Imagine they want a great warrior for an episode they are writing and decided to go with El Cid. El Cid, or Rodrigo Díaz de Vivar was a great warrior of Castilian descent and continues to have stories written about him to this day. He was and will remain undeniably Spanish in origin. Imagine though, if this show made him into a German Mercenary, or a Samurai, or for a more contemporary example, if they made Shaggy Roberts and Scooby-Doo into Nigerian Princes. That would piss me off just as much as Dora making Merlin Spanish, again, not because of the way they are transforming them, but because they are transforming them at all.

There is not much that I can do about this, of course. Nickelodeon is not likely to change the Editorial Mandates on Dora the Explorer any time soon and starting a petition or something would not only be pointless, but may attract the type of person that I do try to avoid, racists who would sign something of that nature simply because they hate rather than because they have a legitimate bee in their bonnet about adulterating another culture's stories and heroes. So I will take this opportunity to complain before getting back to my homework. Again, if you are offended by my opinions here, I apologize that you feel that way. This article was not written with any kind of racial hatred in mind. I just happen to have an opinion and felt like flapping my lips about it on line. Feel free to comment, but also know that if the comment you leave is meant specifically to be hurtful to me or hateful to another person, race, religion or creed, it will be removed. It's my blog and I will do with it as I may. Post Script: Yes, I am aware that it may be somewhat hypocritical of me to have such a high admiration for both Saber and Saber Nero from Fate/ Stay Night and Fate/ Extra respectively. However, despite changing their genders the over all narratives of the games do not change their stories or cultures. (( Arturia still deals with Lancelot and Guinevere's betrayal, dies at the battle of Camlan and generally lives the tales. Nero uses Roman terms, speaks about her reign and gives a relatively factual account of Rome of Nero's time and the end of Nero's reign.)) I can handle a small change, especially if it adds another dimension to the character or story, otherwise I would not have been able to read and enjoy Mallory, T.H. White and Steinbeck, but the wholesale invalidation of the culture the story comes from due to editorial mandate still burns my muffins a bit.