Thoughts on Moderation

Look people, it's like this.

You can be incensed that a police officer killed
an innocent person based on the color of their skin
and still be supportive of police in general.

You can be angry that people who took their religion
far too seriously decided to take the lives of car-
toonists and writers and still acknowledge that
a vast majority of the adherents of said religion
don't think or feel that way.

You can hate war and hate those at the root of
war and still honor and support the soldiers
that are willing to spill their blood so that
we do not have to.

It's okay to know that racism exists and that
the current system deals out priveleges to
white people and still acknowledge things
such as classism and know that despite
the priveleges white people get not all of
them are living idyllic lives free from
suffering or oppression.

You can be both cis and heterosexual and
still not have to feel hated,
afraid or threatened that
transgender and homosexual people want
need, and deserve equal rights.

Alternately you can be of a non binary
gender and a non heterosexual orientation
and not have to hate or think bad of every
person who is both cis or hetero or any
combination thereof.

You can support the right for responsible
citizens to own and bear firearms and
still want measures take to make sure
those who are unstable or irresponsible
don't get ahold of them.

You can be a straight man and not
have to objectify or hate women.

You can be a woman...well, sadly
no, you can't really be a woman and
not be afraid of men. Sorry guys, but
our track record and the society we've
built around it kind of speaks for
itself.

There are terrible things around us.
Tragedies abound and hatred is a real
serious thing in the world. What breeds
this hatred and births these tragedies
however is the idea that absolutes exist
in the world. That things have to be one
thing or another. That a person has to be
either rabidly for something or
violently against it.

Not everything has to be serious. Some
things are meant to be fun and enjoyable
and don't have secret messages or meanings.

Right, Left, Straight, Gay, Cis, Trans
Black, White, Rich and Poor. All of
these words mean something and are im
portant, but maybe we, as a group of
thinking and feeling beings have allowed
them to mean too much. They divide us.

Isn't it time we stopped considering
how different we are from one another
and started concentrating on how alike
we all are? Isn't it time, not to elim
inate titles, but to allow them to be
descriptors rather than definitions?

We are the ones building these walls
but we are not reaping any benefits
from them. The time and energy being
used could be put toward actually
making the world a better place.

We don't have to carry a chip on
our shoulders. None of us has any
thing to prove. We can relax, really
it's okay.

We are all human beings. We are all
the same kind, the same family. We
could be going so far if we'd only
remember that.

Then again, I could be doing the
same thing. You don't have to
agree with me, I suppose. As
long as we can still see that
having different opinions does
not have to make us enemies. We should
be fine.

-C Emrys Carrington.

Thoughts on Manhood

I expect to lose some "friends" after this, but I've been so damn miffed and hurt about it that I can't keep silent anymore. There are days when I wake up and hate the fact that I am a man. Not because I feel oppressed, not because I don't acknowledge that because of my mental gender and physical sex I have privileges that people who don't share these qualities do not.  I am well aware that in the lottery of life through the sheerest chance the irresponsible idiot that fertilized my egg gave me the chromosome that basically puts me ahead of the game in this society. No, I sometimes hate being a man for another reason entirely.  I am ashamed by the stupid shit my gender/sex says and does.

           If you think the friendzone exists, you need to unfriend me. If you think that you are entitled to sex and or a relationship because you spend money on or time with a woman, you need to unfriend me. I can't say that I never embraced these concepts, but I can say that I've grown the hell up and taken a look at things and discarded these childish and frankly dangerous notions. These delusional ideas and the depersonalization and hatred they espouse and inspire cost the men who hold to them respect, time, and the very relationships they aspire to. These delusional ideas kill.

           If you in any way believe the UCSB shooter was right and or justified in what he did you need to unfriend me. You need to sit down and contemplate what it is to have innocent blood on your hands because you felt entitled to an individual's person, life and body. You need to stop and wonder why your brain is so out of whack that you equate women with fleshlights. You need to get the fuck away from me before you go around the bend in the same way. You need to get away from me before you decide to injure and kill other people and possibly even yourself for a pseudo philosophy of paranoia that makes even a mentally ill person like myself shudder. You need help of a type I am unqualified to give.

            Don't dare come at me with this "It's not all men." garbage either. Shit like this makes it all men. Creepers in malls make it all men, rapists and rape apologists make it all men. Men who feel entitled to and whine about women not being subservient or attracted to them make it all men. Why? It's simple, because it could be any man. The man walking down the street with his hands in his pockets could be looking for a victim. The man sitting on a bus could be coveting a woman who's name he may not even know like she was a car, or a thousand dollar bill and wondering why he shouldn't just take her. A woman cannot actually know what any man at any time is thinking. Every time something like the above happens, any time some idiot loses control of himself and does something disgusting and sub-human it makes it a lot less safe for any woman to be near any man. She cannot be sure that all men aren't predators, what she can be sure of is that if something does happen to her it is more than likely that everyone from her own family to the media will be looking for reasons that it is her fault. Despite the fact that this senseless thing happened was done to her, for no discernible reason, she knows that everyone is going to try to pin the blame on her. So don't give me this "Not all men " bullshit, because it might as well be.

        We do it to ourselves. This society, built by and for men, pushes these roles upon us. It tells us that it's okay to be out of control animals, that men should aspire to be as such. Action movie heroes, sports players, musicians, even our own schools and government tell us that the ideal man is one of violent action and sexual debauchery. They tell us that it is women who must give up their comfort and individuality because men are all barely controlled lust engines and the sight of the slightest bit of alluring skin might topple our reason and force us to do horrible things to them. This male run society devalues men, just not as much as it devalues women.

        I know everything isn't peaches and cream simply because a person has twigs and berries. Men are a lot less likely to gain custody of children for instance and male rape and molestation by females is a reality of which I myself am a survivor. We fuck those things up for ourselves as well though. This male built society favors women in custody battles not because they assume women are the ideal parents, but because we are taught that women can and should be the caretakers, that a man does not and should not want to shoulder the responsibility of parenthood. Men who report rape or molestation by women are laughed at or have their manhood questioned because how could a man not want to have sex? Once the uglies start to bump this male built society tells us our minds and souls should shut up and let our body enjoy it. Men hurt themselves because they have built a society around the idea that women are less than them.  We do it to ourselves, like little kids blaming the stove but refusing to take their hands off the burner.

      So yes, some days I hate being a man. I hate being associated with all of this garbage. I can't escape it however, because I am a man and all of us are responsible for our actions, no matter how much we wish we weren't.