I expect to lose some "friends" after this, but I've been so damn miffed and hurt about it that I can't keep silent anymore. There are days when I wake up and hate the fact that I am a man. Not because I feel oppressed, not because I don't acknowledge that because of my mental gender and physical sex I have privileges that people who don't share these qualities do not. I am well aware that in the lottery of life through the sheerest chance the irresponsible idiot that fertilized my egg gave me the chromosome that basically puts me ahead of the game in this society. No, I sometimes hate being a man for another reason entirely. I am ashamed by the stupid shit my gender/sex says and does.
If you think the friendzone exists, you need to unfriend me. If you think that you are entitled to sex and or a relationship because you spend money on or time with a woman, you need to unfriend me. I can't say that I never embraced these concepts, but I can say that I've grown the hell up and taken a look at things and discarded these childish and frankly dangerous notions. These delusional ideas and the depersonalization and hatred they espouse and inspire cost the men who hold to them respect, time, and the very relationships they aspire to. These delusional ideas kill.
If you in any way believe the UCSB shooter was right and or justified in what he did you need to unfriend me. You need to sit down and contemplate what it is to have innocent blood on your hands because you felt entitled to an individual's person, life and body. You need to stop and wonder why your brain is so out of whack that you equate women with fleshlights. You need to get the fuck away from me before you go around the bend in the same way. You need to get away from me before you decide to injure and kill other people and possibly even yourself for a pseudo philosophy of paranoia that makes even a mentally ill person like myself shudder. You need help of a type I am unqualified to give.
Don't dare come at me with this "It's not all men." garbage either. Shit like this makes it all men. Creepers in malls make it all men, rapists and rape apologists make it all men. Men who feel entitled to and whine about women not being subservient or attracted to them make it all men. Why? It's simple, because it could be any man. The man walking down the street with his hands in his pockets could be looking for a victim. The man sitting on a bus could be coveting a woman who's name he may not even know like she was a car, or a thousand dollar bill and wondering why he shouldn't just take her. A woman cannot actually know what any man at any time is thinking. Every time something like the above happens, any time some idiot loses control of himself and does something disgusting and sub-human it makes it a lot less safe for any woman to be near any man. She cannot be sure that all men aren't predators, what she can be sure of is that if something does happen to her it is more than likely that everyone from her own family to the media will be looking for reasons that it is her fault. Despite the fact that this senseless thing happened was done to her, for no discernible reason, she knows that everyone is going to try to pin the blame on her. So don't give me this "Not all men " bullshit, because it might as well be.
We do it to ourselves. This society, built by and for men, pushes these roles upon us. It tells us that it's okay to be out of control animals, that men should aspire to be as such. Action movie heroes, sports players, musicians, even our own schools and government tell us that the ideal man is one of violent action and sexual debauchery. They tell us that it is women who must give up their comfort and individuality because men are all barely controlled lust engines and the sight of the slightest bit of alluring skin might topple our reason and force us to do horrible things to them. This male run society devalues men, just not as much as it devalues women.
I know everything isn't peaches and cream simply because a person has twigs and berries. Men are a lot less likely to gain custody of children for instance and male rape and molestation by females is a reality of which I myself am a survivor. We fuck those things up for ourselves as well though. This male built society favors women in custody battles not because they assume women are the ideal parents, but because we are taught that women can and should be the caretakers, that a man does not and should not want to shoulder the responsibility of parenthood. Men who report rape or molestation by women are laughed at or have their manhood questioned because how could a man not want to have sex? Once the uglies start to bump this male built society tells us our minds and souls should shut up and let our body enjoy it. Men hurt themselves because they have built a society around the idea that women are less than them. We do it to ourselves, like little kids blaming the stove but refusing to take their hands off the burner.
So yes, some days I hate being a man. I hate being associated with all of this garbage. I can't escape it however, because I am a man and all of us are responsible for our actions, no matter how much we wish we weren't.
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